Happy Anniversary To Me!!!!
It’s a very big day here at Happy Exhaustion, folks. One year ago today, I reached my goal of losing 100 lbs. And today I can announce (with a sense of pride that is undoubtably visible from space) that I have kept off every last pound! Woot!!!!!!
As I promised, here is the picture I took of myself on the scale this morning:
I also made a video of myself stepping on – to show the scale going from zero to 140, lest anyone think I cheated by cranking the scale. I will post it as soon as I can figure it out… How does one create a .gif, exactly? Must look into that. In the meantime, you’ll just have to trust that if I was in the business of photo doctoring, I’d have given myself prettier feet.
In the meantime, here are a few updated Before & After pictures. You know how I do love Before & After pictures!
I posted the pictures like this (same outfits, poses, etc.) because I wanted to demonstrate how much this year has been about maintenance. I discovered a size and shape that I enjoy and can manage (with hard work) and I’m doing my best to hang onto it. If you don’t see too much difference between the two ‘after’ pictures (beyond the terrible quality of the pictures taken last night, with my phone, in a dimly lit hallway) then I have succeeded.
Why I am celebrating the achievement of my goal instead of the day when I began my journey? It’s because I have no idea what the date of that day was – beyond ‘around 2 years ago.’ At the time, that day didn’t seem worth noting. Beginning a diet was nothing new. I had no reason to believe that this one would be any different from all the others that went before it.
I had no idea I was about to change my whole way of life.
This anniversary is every inch as exciting as the day that I reached my goal, because keeping it off took no less effort than losing it in the first place. I earned this anniversary through as much application of will and sweat as I put into losing all that weight. But this year, what changed was not my body – what changed was my mind.
I am finally beginning to see myself as *I think* I truly am. My first red dress pic was a bit of an out-of-body experience. I liked what I saw, but it seemed like an illusion. I had heard ‘you lost weight! you look great!’ many times before. I had yo-yoed for so many years, I was familiar with weight loss praise. But since I always gained the weight back, I took it as a compliment of my temporary shape – a bit like a compliment of a hair style – rather than a compliment of ME. I was still convinced that my true self was lazy and overweight. I thought for sure my ‘true’ self would win in the end. I didn’t want to get too attached to my size 4 jeans, because I didn’t think I’d get to keep them.
It took a lot of hard work to re-wire the self-loathing voices in my head. But these days, when those voices pop up, I hit the gym and wash them away in rivers of sweat against which they cannot stand.
Highlights Of This Year Of Health:
Standing on stage at #140You with people who inspire me.
Sharing my story with The Huffington Post.
The cat-callers (I know. I’m supposed to hate them all. Let’s move on.) who shouted at me about my “Great Legs” – a big first. Shut up.
The trainer asking if I lift – hearing myself say ‘yes’ without missing a beat. Because I do. And that still feels weird.
Crossing a finish line with my family there cheering me on.
Consistently proving to myself – I CAN do it, no matter what ‘it’ is. Struggle will always be struggle, but damn is it worth it.
I began this journey for my family, and it has paid off. My kids don’t remember a time when I wasn’t constantly running, jumping, chasing them. They don’t remember sloth-mommy. They have a mommy who throws them into the air. This mommy will always catch them, and this mommy isn’t going ANYWHERE.
Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me. I have felt your support and it has kept me going. Here’s to a future filled with after-after-after-after-after pictures! One day – a massive grid!
Wanna help me celebrate? Blow up my spot! If you’re with me today, let me know! Hit a mama with a like, a re-post, a pin, or a tweet! What can I say? I’m a cheap date.